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FB – aaiigghtt! so school has started again, and …

August 31, 2004 Leave a comment

FB – aaiigghtt! so school has started again, and perhaps i can get back into the swing of updating. my schedule is pretty intense this semester, but then again, it’s been intense every semester. the difference this time is that i fucked up my grades real bad last semester, and i can’t afford to do that again. and also, the solarD house is in crazy design phase. about 12 people actually signed up for the solarD class, which was pretty impressive. unfortunately, the class didn’t seem to get the direction it needed – and i won’t get into that b/c i’ll be freakin pissed to high hell if i start talking about that again. suffice it to say it’s going to be insane actually getting out construction documents this fall.

i bought a package of M&M’s tonite. they were black and white – i thought it was one of those promotions where if you find the color you win a bazillion dollars. i may have eaten the colored one, i have no idea. note: don’t eat candy in the dark when the candy may provide you several lifetimes of money. but alas, i think it was an old pack of candy w/o any sort of contest. stupid m&ms.

last wk i actually took a wk off from school/working! cindy and i went to ATL to visit friends, and it was, as expected, a freakin rockin time. we went to bars, visited Emory, drank at sweetwater, saw Alienvs.Predator (the funniest worst movie ever), and rented a pontoon and cabin on lake lanier. i can’t begin to outline all the hysterical things, but perhaps alien vs. predator will be enough.

why we thought this would be a good movie, i can’t begin to figure. but where it lacked in horror, it did farely well in making a mockery of the alien and predator lines. like how an archaeologist managed to read a huge room filled on every surface w/ heiroglyphs of egyptian, cambodian, and aztec origin in a matter of seconds, and decipher the history of the alien v. predator story, and how humans are entwined. the ultimate was his lau tsu like quote to sum up the human party’s position on how to deal w/ this war they seemed to be in the middle of: “The enemy of my enemy…is my friend.” how profound! that is now actually our website (www.theenemyofmyenemyismyfriend.com). within 10 minutes of the start of the movie, the 10 of us were laughing hysterically to the dismay of the 20 other people in the theater. understandably, they joined in pretty soon, making fun of the ridiculous crap. however, the theater workers were not as sympathetic. when we left, they were hanging out by the exit door, and they said amongst themselves, “those people did not respect that movie.” that’s right, RESPECT. for reals.

maybe this can get funnier when i don’t watch dharma and greg at the same time.

oh yeah, we took a shitload of awesome pics in ATL and New Orleans (we stopped there for 2 days on the way back to austin).

Categories: ATL, haha, movies, travel

so it’s been a while since i posted, b/c my life h…

August 13, 2004 Leave a comment

so it’s been a while since i posted, b/c my life has been insane for the past month. i won’t write much now, as i have a final for Construction4 in about 1.5 hrs, but i thought i’d share my response to an email from Mrs. Mary Kabah. Mrs. Kabah claims to be the wife of the former Minsiter of blah blah blah and she has loads of money for me to invest blah blah blah if i’ll serve as a go-between while she transfers her money from some undisclosed location blah blah blah if i’ll contact her blah blah blah and eventually give her my bank account # so that she can deposit millions and millions of dollars. natch.

really, this was a piss poor version of this scam. she didn’t specify an amount of money, she didn’t tell me why i’d be such a great candidate for transferring money, her grammar and spelling were atrocious, and lastly her email address was so fucking bogus that not even a complete dimwad would give her a bank account#.

and so, w/o further ado, here is the email from ‘Mrs. Mary Kabah’, followed by my response.

::::

Good day,

Certainly yes, this proposal may come to you as a surprise. It is a privilege and it demands an utmost confidentiality and honesty. My name is Mrs. Mary Kabah wife of the former minister of mineral resources/economic planning in the presidency of tijan Kabah of Sierra Leone. My husband died recently as a result of an acute heart problem.

Right now, the funds are in a security company which has affiliate offices in Europe, Asia and West African. I am currently on transit awaiting an honest overseas partner for negotiations.

Though it is my desire to go into property investments or any other area of your choice you may advice. I have also mapped-out 20% commission for your assistance including any expenses you may incur before the successful completion of this transaction.

So if you’re interested to assist in this regard, kindly confirm this message upon receipt

Through my e-mail address,: mkabah@indiatimes.com to enable me know my next line of action and give you enough details and how we will work things out.

Awaiting your earliest response soonest. mkabah@indiatimes.com

Best Regards,

Mrs.Mary Kabah

mkabah@indiatimes.com

::::::

MY REPLY:

Wow! I can’t believe I was lucky enough to be the recipient of this impersonal email from – of all people – the wife of the fomer Minister of Mineral Resources of Sierra Leone! Really, I must say that’s quite incredible! I have to ask, why did you pick me? Me, of all people – a poor graduate student studying architecture. Again, I’m quite lucky.

I can’t say my investment skills are really too keen, but since you seem to have such faith in my abilities to advise you on an undisclosed sum of money (which I must presume to be at least $50 million), I’d have to say that glue sticks are the way to go. As you know, there are many things in this world that need to be stuck together – 2 sheets of paper for instance. And just how do you expect those things to remain stuck together? Magic? No! Glue is the answer! And glue sticks provide a way to easily apply glue to whatever surface needs to be stuck to something. It’s a no-brainer, really. The glue stick industry is completely under-invested, and that means you can get on board while it’s still cheap!

With that out of the way, I’d like to ask about your family. How are they doing, now that the President Tijan Kabah has been thrown out of power? Please pardon my ignorance, I am not current with the news of Sierra Leone. If I misunderstood the fomer presiden’ts name, I apologize. I hope that your husband provided well for you all, and I understand that it is my duty, as a completely random person that you picked out of a hat, to help you invest his untold millions of dollars in foreign investments. Also, I’m rather curious how you managed to obtain an email address with the India Times, and Indian news source? Is India the location of the security company in charge of your funds? Are you freelancing as a journalist while awaiting the transfer of these funds? I apologize if I appear nosy, but it’s rather curious.

Again, I look forward to helping you, a person completely unknown to me, transfer a large sum of money from an unknown security firm in an undisclosed location to the American stock market, specifically investing in glue sticks. Until we speak again, good luck with your pseudo-career of journalism, and may your family be healthy and happy.

Sincerely,

Speedy Gonzalez

Categories: creative, haha