Home > NY, travel, WTF? > the FBI better not track me down and arrest me for…

the FBI better not track me down and arrest me for…

the FBI better not track me down and arrest me for stating that JFK airport [rather the Delta terminal] is the most horrendous building in the world and should be utterly destroyed, or better yet – swallowed whole by a gigantic fire-breathing terrantula. i just flew from austin, TX to NY via ATLanta [austin and atlanta having extremely easily navigable airports], arriving at JFK at around 11:30p. i was already tired having spent the past 2 nites writing a paper for theory2 [essentially how ‘cyberspace’ has the capacity to cure all the world’s ills and to make sensical responsive organic buildings: see last post], so i was working on 2-3 hours sleep. but regardless, all was right w/ the world until i stepped off the plane @ JFK – what follows is a chronological recount:

1. step off plane.

2. follow signs to baggage claim.

3. arrive @ baggage claim to find out i’m @ the WRONG baggage claim area [not just me, but a herd of others]. apparently i was @ baggage claim D and needed to be @ baggage claim B. unfortunately, there was no baggage claim B, but rather arrival area B. not too major a snafu, but how fucking hard is it to make all the signs communicate the same thing, huh?

4. back across the bldg to ‘arrival area’ B – but wait! it’s downstairs! well, why don’t i take the stairs then to get downstairs? can’t do that! there are no stairs! there are 2 elevators to transport roughly 100 people w/ lots of bags! screw that, i’m finding another way…

5. go outside, back into the bldg via different entrance to find not a set of stairs but another elevator. @ least there was no line, so i made it down quickly.

6. exit elevator, or attempt to since the ‘arrival area’ is jam packed to the point that i needed to kick a baby carriage out of my way and step on an old lady just to get to the entrance to area B [b/c this is actually the general arrival area w/ areas A,B, and C off to the sides].

7. make it to area B, or the entrance to area B, which consists of one entrance staffed by 2 ignorant mindless twits who’d be better served losing themselves in a forest. their job is not hard – make sure people don’t leave the baggage area w/ other people’s bags – you know, check the ticket stub to make sure it matches w/ the bag claim ticket. but no, they check my boarding pass just to let me in. on my way out later, they stood there attentive, but doing nothing…

8. there are no signs labeling which flight’s bags are on which carousel – actually there are signs, but they don’t work. instead, a woman repeats w/ perhaps a half second between the loop “atlanta flight 2134 carousel B, atlanta flight 2134 carousel B…” i finally get my bag and leave. now i attempt to find Yug, my buddy who’s picking me up.

9. ‘where r u?’ i’m downstairs. ‘me, too, i don’t see u’ well maybe u’re on the wrong level’ ok, i’ll walk up. ‘can’t see u’ can’t see u either, in fact there are no cars here, ok back to the other level. this repeats 4 times b4 we find each other. meanwhile, i’m hassling w/ a bunch of assholes who are yelling at a mom and her kids b/c their overloaded bag fell over and was blocking the sidewalk. real nice.

ok, my rant is complete. u can see that the delta terminal is obviously designed only for those w/ GPS systems permanently hacked into their cortex. y in the world they continue to exist in this state is beyond me. i lived in ny for my first 20 years, and never have i seen it change. it will likely continue to be a mindfuck for as long as it stands. which is why i think some otherworldly catastrophe must befall it. as a matter of fact, i bet a great survivor series would be to stick a bunch of yokels in the delta terminal and see how long they last. ratings would go through the roof.

Categories: NY, travel, WTF?
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